Saturday, May 1, 2010

Deployment Pictures

No one asked us.
No one detailed out the journey.
No where did we agree to the risks.
                                     
No where did we understand we would see our kids 10 ish days a year.
No amount of convincing would have allowed for shooting at our children. 
No one can say stupider things than we have been told about our Marines.
Some days we are sick of being proud, sick of missing them, sick of the whole thing...
                                     
I miss his voice and his laugh and his presence.  
So your welcome for the freedom and the peace of mind that wafts around you as you sleep because we are tired and awake...

I Wonder Where He's At

Day 1


Today marks the first day of "I wonder where he is at".  I wanted that phone to ring so I could hear the sweet voice of my oldest son just one more time before he departed. Bright and early at 5:00am that  much needed but dreaded phone call comes in. "Mom, I love you with all my heart, just remember that" I knew what this call was about and fought with every ounce of my being to not shed a tear. I did not want him to know about the fear that I carry around when events like this happen. I did not want him to hear the pain in my heart as he was telling me good bye for 7 months. I did not do such a stellar job though, my voice cracked and my body trembled as I told him that I loved him so very much, to stay safe, and to come home soon. "Mom, I have to go now, we are getting on the bus right now and pulling out, Mom, I love you, I will talk to you soon" I could not for the life of me hang up that phone. I knew in my heart he was not finished. "Mom, wait.. Go wake up Chrissy, I have to tell her that I love her". Walking into a dark room as my baby girl slept, I had to wake her up because her brother needed her. He needed to hear her voice just like we needed to hear his. It does not matter how much sibling rivalry these kids had growing up, soon as Jerod joined the Marine Corps, it all faded away. I gently shook Chrissy's shoulder, and handed her the phone. "Whats wrong?" she asked me with a puzzled look on her face with half closed eyes. I told her it was her brother, and he was getting ready to leave. I could see her body deflate as she put the phone to her ear. "Hey bud".. and their brief conversation began and ended in 30 seconds flat. In that 30 seconds, so much was said, and so much love was shared. I stood there and watched the expressions on my daughters face as she was saying goodbye to her older brother and I could not help but let the tears fall. I was expecting to be handed back a phone that had been hung up, but Jerod was not done. "Mom, I am leaving now, tell Bradley I love him and I will see him soon. You cannot wake him up mom, mom please do not wake him up because saying goodbye to him is almost as bad as saying goodbye to you". I complied with his request, we exchanged I love you's once more. I could not hang up, my fingers would not let go of my phone. I had to hear the click and the silence before I could let it go. I heard it, the call was over, and I fell to pieces very quietly. I grabbed my pillows off my bed downstairs and went up to Jerods bedroom and tried to fall back to sleep..

15 long hours have passed and I sit here and wonder where he is now. Is he in Maine? I start thinking to myself, I cannot forget to check the http://mainetroopgreeters.smugmug.com/ website later to see the pictures of the Marines that flew through there today and if I don't find them there, I have to remember to check them here http://ourstopinmaine.smugmug.com/The-Troops-2010 . Any little tiny glimps of him is what I am looking for. When you are a parent or a loved one with a member of the Military, these days never get any easier and you do what you can to get yourself through the day. And this is one way I deal with it. Just remember, this is only day 1 Kim, this is the easy part. Yea... ok.. Hmmmm.. I wonder where he is now.


Quite a few exciting things have happen over the last few days. Norine Rosetti got to welcome her husband Chris home from Afghanistan. After several delays because of the volcano, he finally arrived in the wee hours yesterday morning. Welcome home 3/4 Wpns Co!! most of all though.. WELCOME HOME CHRIS!!!! This family holds a very special place in my heart and will forever hold that special place. Soon as Chris settles in with his family, me and him will go back to our online Scrabble wars and I will whoop his tail like always. Chris honey, you just cannot touch my smartness, come get you some!!!

Another exciting event, a dear old friend that I reconnected on facebook with from way back in the day got on a plane in Japan to come back to the States. I am hoping and praying that his trip is safe and uneventful. I am excited for him that he will get to see his kiddos soon. Now that the time difference gap is history, I am looking forward to catching up on old times with him. Welcome home Dave..

Another exciting event.. yep, I am full of them over the last few days!! Anyway, I got to talk to another friend from way back in the day. This has to be the easiest reunion as of yet. When I started talking to Joe, it was like we never lost touch. The conversation was hillarious to say the least. We talked about my dad and all the craziness of the past. But hey, it was all fun back then. But, something about that converstion with Joe last night. I was able to just forget about all the crap going on, push back the fact that my oldest son was due to leave some hours later, and just laugh.. I really really needed those laughs, and I think Joe knew it. Hopefully, we won't have a repeat conversation on just how old we are getting, and the fact that his favorite word to call me is GRANNY. It was nice to talk about our kids and their accomplishments and where they are going in the future. Thanks Joe, I look forward to more laughs..

One of the absolute best things that have happen over the last few days is finding out that fellow Marine mom Patti was at Twenty Nine Palms awaiting the arrival of her son from Afghanistan. Poor Patti has been waiting since the 21st for the reunion that kept getting pushed back day after day with delays. Again, due to the volcano. I do not think we put two and two together when she was headed that way, that she was going to the exact place my son was at. In conversation the other night it came up that Jerod was due to leave early this morning and all he had with him was his wife Daniella. Patti so very lovingly said she would go be with Jerod if Jerod would allow it. I immediately called Jerod, told him there was a Marine mom there that would love to stand in my place with him while he departed. He was excited. Jerod wanted to meet with Patti as soon as he could, so after spending his last night in Palm Springs with his new wife, he stopped at Patti and her husbands hotel room on his way back. My son got a momma hug and for that I am so very grateful. Jerod and Daniella spent a little bit of time with Patti, then ran to get the rest of his things together for the late night deployment. Late late in the night, Patti and her husband joined Jerod on the base and waited together as everyone assembled to leave out. I want to thank Patti from the bottom of my heart for treating my son like he was her own. Jerod felt the love from Patti and her husband and was so thankful that he had a family with him. He said it wasn't "his" family, but it was his "new" family. I betcha money, he stays in contact with you Patti.. you really touched his heart, and you have forever touched mine. Thank you soo very much for being there for me when I couldn't.



I am soooo excited for Patti and her husband.. Their wait to be reunited with thier son is coming to an end!! Their son has called within the last hour to let them know he is back on US soil and is currently in Maine. BOOTS ARE BACK ON THE GROUND!!! Tomorrow morning around 6am California time, Pattie and her husband will get to see their son after 7 long months.. I am so excited for all of you and cannot wait to see pictures and hear reunion stories..

There is a lot more that I could say, but my fingers are going numb. I will come back here later on and put up pictures that Patti snapped of Jerods departure.

Hmmmmmm.... I wonder where he is at now?

Friday, April 30, 2010

Boys Will Be Boys

 You tell them to stay out of the woods and they will go roll in it. Just because mom said NO!! Boys will be boys.

We have been fighting the effects of poison ivy since Saturday night. Bradley knows full well he is allergic to the crap, but yet fails to protect himself from getting exposed to it. What am I supposed to do, hold his hand while he is outside playing? I think not!! I have taught him time and time again what that green leafy crap looks like. I have shown him time and time again what it does to him when he gets in it. It's not like he doesn't know what it does, I am not the one who swells up with yukky blisters that itch so bad I cry to my mommy at all hours of the night... HELLLLLOOOOOO Boys will be boys!!

Soooo, Sunday, I have to take my blistered, red, oozy, and might I add EXTEMELY whiney child to the after hours pediatrician. Said pediatrician lectured Bradley ONCE AGAIN that he needs to stay away from this green leafy stuff because it will eventually make him real sick if it gets to bad. Then he explains to Bradley that this time, because it was so bad he would be required to get a SHOT of steroids to slow down the progression. All hell broke loose. Oh.. did I tell you that Bradley is terrified of needles?? He gets his shot, proceeds to tell me how mean I am for making him get said shot, tells the doctor that he is mean for making him get the shot. Boys will be boys!!

Monday was terrible. He whined all night Sunday night that it was still itching. The meds did not work. yadda yadda yadda.. The school sees it and puts some anti itch gel crap on it, and it SPREAD even faster, got blood red and blistered more.. He comes home whining mom it hurts, mom it hurts. I tried everything I could prior, I was at a loss. I rummaged through the medicen cabinet, and came out with Tenactin athletes foot poweder and powdered his ass up. Hey, it said ANTI ITCH on it, by golly I was going to try it!! It worked!! BUT, only for a short period of time. But I tried it for 2 days..

Wednesday... ohh Wednesday... We had to go back to the doctor because the school insisted on putting that damn gel anti itch crap on him again and he had a worse reaction than the first time they did it after I told them NOT to put anythng on him.. So another shot, more meds... Then insurance wanted to be an ass and not cover it.. so we didnt get the meds til today..

The meds work though!! Thank goodness.. The cooties are going away, hes not complaining of itching anymore, the redness is gone..... BUT....

He turned into a MONSTER!!! He is eating everything in site, cannot sleep, and is crabby..

Can't win for losing!!!! BUT.... Boys will be boys...

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Facebook.. The blessing and the curse

Anyone who knows me knows all to well, me thinking is almost always dangerous.My thoughts have really consumed my time. Going back can give some people a lot of joy, but going way back can stir up a lot of pain. Well, I not only went back, I have gone way way back.

Lately, I have reconnected with some people I knew "back in the day".  Reconnecting with those very people have brought up a lot of memories. Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of good memories, but there were/are some not so good ones thrown in the mix. There are still some people from back in the day that I wish I could reconnect with that I cannot find. I will find them eventually, soon as my not so young memory remembers last names. Those people hold a lot of very special memories of my dad. It's not all about old boyfriends, drunken parties, late night walks on the beach because some of my connections are female. Although all of that was fun and I wouldn't change a darn single bit of it (haha) I simply miss my dad. 

Facebook has become a joy and a curse. Some people are unforgettable, so there wasn't any problem there. One connection went south very quickly, but hey, that is life what can you do about it. It is what it is. Can that connection be fixed? Yes. Am I holding my breath? Uhh.. No.. Do I hope things change? Most certainly. There is another friend that I reconnected with and I hope I never lose touch with again. They always managed to make me laugh (and still does). I got in trouble with my dad once because of them but it was worth it. It has been so long since we have talked and as soon as they bridge that massive time difference gap, I am hoping that we can talk more. Another is a wonderful girl who went through my whole pregnancy with Jerod right along side of me until she changed duty stations the week before he was born :(. That was hard, I didn't think I could go through giving birth without her. But I did!! Then you have the people who know me through my dad that have added me lately. I would like to have the reconnection with them so we can share memories of my dad and other fun times, but I have a hard time placing who they are. Gee wiz, it has only been what 20 years?!? Ha, maybe if they had pictures of them back in the day, it may jog my memory a little (hint hint) But it's all good, I love talking to new old friends. 


See, these people are all the memories I have of my dad. I don't have many pictures. And the ones I do have are not ones that I want to share. They either have the step witch in them or they were of him when we found out he had cancer. I would have more pictures of my entire family, pictures of me with my dad, pictures of Jerod with my dad, pictures of my dad during his 25+ years in the Navy.. BUT, that step witch violated the court order to give my dads things to me and burned his house down and everything in there was a total loss. That is one of the reason these new old connections are so important to me, they are all I have left of my unruly teenage years. Wait, I wasn't unruly, I was just a little wild and liked to have fun. How could you not when you are stuck smack in the middle of a bunch of ...ahem.... Navy guys who liked to party at my dads place? Whats that saying? If you can't beat them, join them. Hey, that's what memories are made of, fun times, good people, and beer. You live and you learn the hard way sometimes. I lived, learned, and grew up fast and I wouldn't change it for the world. Enough about that...

So, I am looking forward to making more new old facebook friends as they come along. Who says your past has to stay your past and cannot be part of your today and or future? If it wasn't for the internet, I would have never talked to these people again. If it works out.. wonderful... if it doesn't, that's to bad. But, I will never know unless I keep an open mind and try.


Here is getting to know you again!





Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Borrowed This and Had To Share

This is so true and amazing that I have been through these same exact and I mean EXACT feelings, fears, and emotions.

You don't know, but I am the mom who cries every morning and hopes every night for his safe return. I am the mom that drags herself out of bed every morning so that he will be proud of her when he comes home.

You don't know but I am the mom with a million things to say, but none will come out without the thought of him. I am the mom who checks her phone every 5 seconds just to make sure I haven't missed his call. I am the mom who stops and stares and wishes for him to return soon each and everytime another man in uniform walks by.

What you don't know is that I know love on an entirely different level than most. I know the love that spans time and space. The love that most parents are constantly searching for. ... See More... See More

I can tell you I know more about love in homecoming, then most know in a lifetime. You don't know that when he left a part of me went with him and a part of him stayed with me. You tell me that you know how I feel and understand what I am going through, but you have no idea, so please don't say you do.

What you don't realize is that I understand the true meaning of not only love but of longing and anticipation.

You don't see, but I am one of the few who gets goose bumps and choke back the tears as my heart fills with pride everytime I hear the national anthem play. I am one of those moms that will stand tall and stay strong on the outside when I feel like I am dying on the inside.

I am one of the moms who will make friends with complete strangers, for only they can begin to understand what I am going through for they go through it each and every day also with one of their loved ones serving. And please don't say you do, because you never will. You don't understand that I picture his face everywhere I go and he is with me in everything I do.
You think I don't cry anymore, that I have gotten over it... What you don't know is that I just hide it better.

You don't know the feeling the word "deployment" brings. Or the feeling of his hand as it slides out of your hand for what could be forever as he boards the bus, the ship or the plane that will take him to harms way. You don't know what that last smile, hug and kiss mean, how important that goodbye truly is.

You tell me you support the troops, I tell you I love a Marine. I am one of the silent, but outgoing. One of the weak but strong. Scared but Proud.

What you don't see is that he needs me & I need him.

I am one of those moms who stands tall behind her Marine.

Stands tall behind her hero.

Stands tall behind her son.

Watching silently and patiently as he serves and defends our country,praying many, many times throughout the day for his safety......waiting for him to come home with that same mischieveous smile and that same twinkle in his eyes and to hear those precious, precious words, "Mom, i'm on US soil. I'll be home soon."
You don't see that I will drop to my knees and thank God for my son's safe return. You don't know the tears of relief I will sob and you don't know that for the first time in seven months, I can truly breathe again.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

It Doesn't Matter If I Am NOT Ready

It seems just like yesterday that Jerod returned home from Iraq. It was February 6th to be exact. I remember that previous night, the absolute best person in the world called me every hour on the hour with updates. She went out there when she thought they were coming in, and stayed for hours upon hours waiting for my son to come back to base. It was freezing cold, and her and all the girls stayed the course. They wanted to make sure that Jerod had family waiting on him when he got off the bus.

That same dear friend of mine is currently waiting on her own husband to get off that bus. The volcano in Iceland is preventing their timely return as we speak, but it will be soon. I can not wait to give the good ole "welcome home" on the phone. I love the Rosetti family like they are my own.

So what has led up to tonights rant that is evading my finger tips? I got the warning call. TMO has left with their gear. That means one thing. Any moment now. I am not ready, but that doesn't matter. Will I ever be ready to see my son go off to war? NO, I won't be. It feels like its the first time. This is deployment # 2 in less than 8 months. In February I learned how to sleep again, I didn't let a simple knock at the door make me jump out of my skin. I knew I could leave my house without fear of my phone ringing and me miss a phone call. I could turn off my computer without missing a chance to see him on Skype. I could breathe.. I could simply breathe.

Less than a week.. I will be up all night praying that my son stays safe.. praying that all the men with him will stay safe.. I will be packing boxes to ship.. I will be waiting for phone calls that I know will not be there because of where they are going, but I will wait anyway. There is a good thing about that though.. I got rid of the house phone and use my cell phone exclusive.. I will never miss a call. But none the less, I will be waiting. I will go back to leaving my door open. If its open, no one can knock, that is my philosphy. People laugh at me. Laugh all you want, I really do not care. I do what gets me through the day.

See, unless you are a parent or a wife of a Military servicemember, you cannot begin to understand what we go through. Especially very close families. When they are having a bad day, when they are stressed, when they are hungry, tired, or hurt, we feel it. I can bet you any amount of money, when Jerod is out of sorts I can feel every bit of it and I do not even have to talk to him to know. Its a mom thing. Let me do what I have to do to make life more bearable for myself. Don't laugh at me, mock me, or point fingers and tell me that I am crazy. I am a mom who will worry every single day until I know my son is back on US soil. It is NOT easy. It is down right terrifying.

I love my Marine with every ounce of my being. I will be right here waiting for his return. God willing he will return unharmed along with each and every one of the men that go along side of him. I will PRAY like there is no tomorrow and be grateful to see each and every day.

Monday, April 26, 2010

They Grow Up and Move On


Mr. and Mrs Jerod Upchurch.


Sunday, April 25, 2010

Ahh LISTEN to me LOUD AND CLEAR

I understand friends and family want to know everything there is to know about Jerods deployment. If I do not answer your questions or simply tell you that I can not talk about it, I am not avoiding your questions or do not want you to know the information that you are seeking. I simply cannot for Jerods safety tell you.

In the post down below this one, I gave some important information regarding OPSEC. Once you read it, you will fully understand that I am doing what I can to protect my son and his unit from any possible harm.

The intenet is a very dangerous place. Some people may not think so, but over the last two years I have really learned a lot about it. Everyone, I do not care who they are, are enemies to me. I trust no one with any information that pertains to my son.

My blogging will not be completely detailed. I will give information that I know as fact, I will not speculate on something I do not have full knowledge of. I will post pictures as I get them, but I will not post them if I do not feel that it is safe.

Please feel free to comment on any of the posts that I have here on the blog. But I ask that you be courtious to all who read my blog. I have elderly family and friends and family and friends who do not want to see some of the conversations people have.

One thing I want to make VERY CLEAR, If at any time someone leaves a comment on my blog that is offensive to ANY branch of the Military I will delete the comment and block the poster. I do not like the war either. That does not mean that I do not stand by the men and women who are out there fighting the war to protect our Country. These men and women are our future. My great grand father, grandfather, father, and now my son have all fought in a war, I will stand proud and say I SUPPORT ALL OF OUR MILITARY and everything they are about. If you don't want to stand with them, by all means, find somewhere else to go away from my blog.

I am glad we all understand each other.

ALWAYS follow OPSEC

Operations Security, or OPSEC, is keeping potential adversaries from discovering our critical information. As the name suggests, it protects our operations planned, in progress, and those completed. Success depends on secrecy and surprise, so the military can accomplish the mission faster and with less risk. Our adversaries want our information, and they don't concentrate on only sailors to get it. They want you, the family member.

Protecting Critical Information

Even though information may not be secret, it can be what we call critical information. Critical information deals with specific facts about military intentions, capabilities, operations or activities. If an adversary knew this detailed information, our mission accomplishment and personnel safety could be jeopardized. It must be protected to ensure an adversary doesn't gain a significant advantage. By being a member of the military family, you! u will often know some bits of critical information. Do not discuss them outside of your immediate family and especially not over the telephone.

Examples Of Critical Information
Detailed information about the mission of assigned units.

Details on locations and times of unit deployments.

Personnel transactions that occur in large numbers (Example: pay information, powers of attorney, wills, deployment information).

References to trends in unit morale or personnel problems.

Details concerning security procedures.



Puzzle Pieces

These bits of information may seem insignificant. However, to a trained adversary, they are small pieces of a puzzle that highlight what were doing and planning. Remember, the elements of security and surprise are vital to the accomplishment of our goals and our collective personnel protection.

Where and how you discuss this information is just as important as with whom you discuss it. Adverse agents tasked with collecting information frequently visit some of the same stores, clubs, recreational areas, or places of worship as you do.

Determined individuals can easily collect data from cordless and cellular phones, and even baby monitors, using inexpensive receivers available from local electronics stores.

If anyone, especially a foreign national, persistently seeks information, notify your military sponsor immediately. He or she will notify the unit OPSEC program manager.



What Can You Do?

There are many countries and organizations that would like to harm Americans and degrade our influence in the world. It's possible, and not unprecedented, for spouses and family members of U.S. military personnel to be targeted for intelligence collection. This is true in the United States and especially true overseas! What can you do?

Be Alert

Foreign governments and organizations collect significant amounts of useful information by using spies. A foreign agent may use a variety of approaches to befriend someone and get sensitive information. This sensitive information can be critical to the success of a terrorist or spy, and consequently deadly to Americans.



Be Careful

There may be times when your spouse cannot talk about the specifics of his or her job. It's very important to conceal and protect certain information such as flight schedules, ship movements, temporary duty (TDY) locations, and installation activities, for example. Something as simple as a phone discussion about where your spouse is deploying, or going TDY, can be very useful to our enemies.



OPSEC IS A FAMILY AFFAIR - DISCUSS OPSEC WITH YOUR FAMILY

All Family Members Are Part Of The Military OPSEC Team. They Need To Protect Information To Ensure The Safety Of All Our Soldiers, Sailors, Airman, Coast Guards, Civilians, And their Families.



You Are A Vital Player In Our Success!


As a family member of our military community, you are a vital player in our success, and we couldn't do our job without your support. You may not know it, but you also play a crucial role in ensuring your loved one safety. You can protect your family and friends by protecting what you know of the military day-to-day operations. That's OPSEC.

Wounded Marine wants to go back

Reported by: Alex Drude
Email: alexdrude@kmtr.com
Last Update: 4/23 4:17 am




Eugene (KMTR)-

"I was running through a poppy field and got tagged.  Happens."

That's how Dustin Blackwell explains what happened to him on March 29th in Afghanistan.  The 19-year old Marine was shot by an enemy soldier, taken off the front lines and to the hospital, and less than a month later, is back in Eugene, resting.  He's already received his Purple Heart for being wounded in combat as well as several other commendations and medals.

But if he had his way, he'd be back in Afghanistan with his fellow Marines.  Almost as soon as he returned to the United States, he asked the highest-ranking General in the Marines if he could go back to his unit.

"I asked him if he'd send me back.  He said no, I had to heal, had to wait.  But I guess that's the thing with Marines.  As soon as we get hurt we want to go right back."

He says it's weird to go from being up and active in Afghanistan 24/7 to being forced to sit on his couch and do nothing.  It's also weird for him to be thanked by people for serving his country- and getting shot at while doing so. 

"I'm only 19.  It's a weird feeling of people older than you (saying) thank you for (being in the military).  It doesn't feel like I've really done anything special.  I was doing my job, that's what I signed up for, and it's just a hazard."

Blackwell says he wants to go back because he wants to help his fellow Marines do their job.  "I'd rather take another bullet than have one of my buddies take one."

But he won't be able to rejoin his unit in Afghanistan for the remainder of their tour, which is about another six months.  But he would be eligible for their next tour in about a year and a half- if troops are still being deployed to Afghanistan at that time.

This my friends is a true Marine.. OOHRAH and Semper Fi